All these years later. You'd think, as happy and peaceful of a life as I have now, these things wouldn't affect me or still double me over in pain internally from well over a decade, many miles and moons ago. And they don't - mostly. But thanks to a subscription to Facebook since 2007, sometimes the memories come back to haunt me. In the most random ways.
And sometimes it's seeing such hope at a beginning, knowing the heartbreak and disappointments of the years that followed, even when I've well and beyond moved on that catch me so unexpectedly and break my heart all over again. Gosh, the regrets. Things I'd do and handle so differently now.
But I rebound quicker these days, in time and through therapy.
These were two of my biggest young hopes in my mid twenties and thirties. Now neither will speak to me due to a life past, shared, full of regrets - one living soul pictured and one passed on. Thankfully I made peace with the one who passed. before he left. I hope sometime down the road before I'm gone I'm able to do the same with the other.
Perhaps I'll write more about this in time. For now, it's time to engage with the memories and make peace with what was once more.
I'll see you in time.
